Some Coffee time reading just in time for Valentines. Here is our Anti-Valentines blog.
No matter which ever she summed it up, Jess knew it had to be over.
That feeling of entrapment forced her stomach into knots. She knew this feeling all too well for far to long. Even the office coffee no longer tasted the same, it had lost its lustre. The very same aroma that awoke her in the morning after an uneventful traffic jam, was now the smell of burnt thoughts.
She stood up, just to stretch her legs really, there was no intention of moving in a purposeful direction other than the simple needs now. Her eyes narrowed on the desk that surrounded her own.
“Morning Jess.” It was Carel, the PA, the one that sprung around the office as if it was her second chance to relive her childhood jumping castle adventure.
“Hey.” She replied, the tone was as upbeat as Jess could muster for now.
‘It was not like this always’ she thought. There was a time when she was in love with this place. When every dent and creek on the wall meant the world to her. The imperfections were the marks that made this place unique. A time when the people were more appealing every day, and the aroma of that coffee signified adventure and readiness.
But to her now it was decided. Her career was important to her, and she was certain that this place was not fulfilling her career advancement goals. She was sure of it, she knew the breakup had to happen and today was the day to do it.
Jess sat back down at her desk and absorded all that made up her working universe for the last four years. The monitor showed a reflection of herself rather than work, even though that a spread sheet was opened, she saw through that and could only focus on herself now.
So as to ease her stress she made a list she would leave in a sub folder, that she hoped might help someone ease them through this process.
7 ways of Getting over your heartbreak: Shifting gears and moving forward,
1: Know you are not alone.
Dealing with the loss of employment can be very stressful and many people go through it for many reasons. Know that you are not alone. Find a team of your closest friends and family members that you can count on for support. Build a “Dream Team”.
A “Dream Team “should consist of those individuals who support, love you and believe in you and encourage you to be the best you can be.
They are a good investment and not only there for you in the good times but also provide that support in the hard times and help you to get through these times, always ensuring you keep sight of your dreams and goals.
2: Give yourself time to heal.
It’s normal to feel hurt, vulnerable or angry after parting with a job. But time heals all wounds, mends that broken heart- trust me this has been researched ;) tried and tested ... every day is a work in progress.
You are work in progress. But keep in mind that this does not mean sit and wallow in your depressed unemployed state. Take a few days, you have just had a major life change and allowed this time to breathe. After giving yourself this time bounce back focused, take control of the situation. Take this opportunity to rethink your career goals and rediscover what truly makes you happy.
Remember that many if not most successful people have experienced major failures and or changes in their careers. But they have turned these around by picking themselves up, learning from the experience and trying again. Your career is what matters.
3: Stay future focused.
It is extremely easy to get stuck in the past and what ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ happened but didn’t. Doing this may only create destructive, emotions and fuel anger, self pity and a sense of powerlessness.
Focus on the future and on what you need to do to set yourself to find new employment, whether it includes budgeting for the month ahead and making your savings last, focusing on who you can contact for possible employment and how to go about this. Typically have a Job lined up to kick in so that you do not skip on a pay check. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t have.
4: Keep Networking.
The more people who know what you want, the more people can help you get it. Many job opportunities may not be advertised, they are filled up by word of mouth. That is why networking can be a good way to find a new job. Unfortunately a lot of the time many job seekers are hesitant to take advantage of networking because they are afraid of being seen as too needy, pushy or self serving.
But, bear in mind that networking is not about using other people or aggressively promoting yourself – it’s about building relationships. As you look for a new job, these relationships can provide the much needed feedback, advice and support. Reach out to people you know and enquire for introductions or connections that could help you. Do not underestimate the power of your network. This also means that you must not Burn your Bridges! The people that make up your current work sphere are individual people that have lives beyond the office, treat them as individuals and do not lump them into the “I’m done with that place” basket.
You know what they say “your network is your net worth”.
5: Don’t let your job status define you.
It is visible that losing or changing your job is hard and a very personal experience, but do not take it too personally. Who you are is not what you do. Never was and never will be. You define who you are, not a relationship, not a partner, not your job or company’s decision whether or not to employ you. Don’t take it as a personal rejection against you. Choosing to move on from a Company does not mean there is anything wrong with you or the wrong with the Company, it just may be the wrong situation.
Potential Employers are more attracted to people who have proven their ability to stay positive and confident.
6: Look at finding a job as a job.
It is important to get back on the “horse" as soon as possible. As they say there are many
fish in the sea, you need to find the
right one!
Start by creating structure in your day. You may think you have more time on your hands than you had before but you will be amazed at how little you can do in a day if your aren’t sure about what you want to get done.
Create a plan, a list with goals and realistic steps. Contact Recruitment Agencies and see what they have on offer that matches your Skill set.
Then prioritize, structure your day and make this your job. You will feel much better and more productive than sitting on the couch eating a packet of chips.
7: Update your resume and interview skills.
Give your resume a facelift!
Ensure to include your recent work experience and achievements, put together your references and have a rocking resume that you are proud of. You may have been in the same job for years and may have not updated your resume for all those years. So look up resume templates and tailor make it so that by the end your Resume it will scream all you are and all you can offer. This is part of your personal brand and what you want your new employer to see.Reinvent yourself; this is a chance to start over with something fun and more you, this maybe something you could not do before at your old employment.
Remember that your CV is not only the Word Document it once was. Make sure to beef up your LinkedIn and all other Social Media platforms that you are on. Let the world know that you are Skilled!
Brush up on those interview skills. Read up on interview questions and speak to those who have recently been on interviews. If you have not been on the job scene for a while and have not had many first dates (also known as first interviews), this could help build your confidence and make sure that you are prepared.
And as an Extra.
BELIEVE IN YOUSELF whether you have a Job lined up or your are looking for one.
Remember what makes you tick and use those strengths to learn and interact with your new work colleagues.
Jess leant away from her keyboard and looked at her list. It eased her to write down her thoughts and path way forward. She knew that she had the strength inside herself to resign, and now she had found it.
“Can we have a cup of coffee Fiona?” Jess asked her Boss.
“Sure, at lunch?”
“Great.”
Fiona looked steadily at Jess, she knew this lady for several years now, and for the first time she noticed this strong and assertive stance that Jess now possessed
“Is there something I should be worried about?” Fiona enquired.
“Not to worry, but to plan.” Jess gave a smirk and headed back to her desk, it was only a couple of hours until she would reveal how she really felt, and who knows where that conversation might lead.
We hope you enjoyed our short Heart Break story.
Amor Legere
Konrad Bryczkowski